My Tango Moments - Ocean Set Ablaze. Flaming Orange, What Took You So Long?
77Burning Times
Dedicated to mckbirdbks
All my friends on HP encouraged me to write and to dance. But Mike encouraged me to write about dancing. I found it difficult, I thought dancing was about feelings, it had to be experienced, and no words could do justice to it.
They could not. But it did not mean I could not write about it. I could and I would.
It was challenging, but not impossible.
Nothing is impossible.
Impossible is nothing.
First I discovered my Blues.
I was dancing there, too, in some blue mountains, gliding on blue moods and fluttering as a butterfly and flying somewhere in pursuit of the blue bird of luck and freedom. My eyes are blue, my light is blue, I am so blue. No problem, no opportunity.
- Discovering Blues
A story of how a simple purchase of a calendar led to a discovery of my poetic abilities. Never stop learning about yourself. Maybe you can write poetry, too. Now I know that I am Blue. And what colour are you?
The problem was I did not have enough Orange in me.
I am Blue, very much so, but right after the Blue comes Green, the colour of thinkers. Yes, those analytics. Analysis paralysis. Thinkers are usually not doers and I had problems with taking action. I think I had enough courage, but I could never finalize thinking. How could you possibly finalize thinking? Once you arrive at some conclusion, there is another just around the corner, and … I was caught up in this Green stage. House? Prison?
Then comes Gold, the colour of managers. I hate it. I have enough of it, but if I can stay away from it, I will. Skipping organization. Skippety – skip – skip…
Then comes Orange – the desirable colour of courage and action. I needed it. More and more and more. I was so stuck that I just had to somehow find it and get it. I got some paint. In 2003, believe it or not. It was used to paint parts of our storage. My courage was kept in storage.
I opened the can and the paint was in perfect condition. It even was of such good quality – for porches or something. Not for indoors. It does not matter. I painted my wall in the hall and it proved to be effective. The colour was called “Sun kissed Poppies”. It is gorgeous. The miracle was that the colour worked for me. It was encouraging.
The difference between the Blues and the Oranges:
Blues:
This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as night the day. Though canst not then be false to any man. ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Lyrical digression:
A (the) stranger in the night, OK, let’s call him Ingvar, told me my psychological type to be “Hamlet” (The Mentor, ENFJ) within one visit to Tim Hortons. I was not even shocked.
The type I am debating: It could be “Tom Sawyer” (The Psychologist, ENFP, but it is very close).
Oranges:
Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.
~ David Farragut, Battle of Mobile Bay, 1863
You may not know me, but Mike will attest that when first we met, we were discussing patriotism, wars, soldiers, my militant moods, et cetera.
The name of one of my latest hubs was “I LOVE MY DESK. DAMN IT!!!” All capitals. Yes, I want to capitalize finally my wonderfulness.
But first I had to discover it.
I just did. I accepted it.
Paint your personality!
Hamlet, The Mentor
- Ethical-intuitive extravert (Hamlet, The Mentor)
Description of ENFJ. It could be me, it could be you.
Personality types
There is a change in the way I write now. NO FEAR!
- I LOVE MY DESK, DAMN IT!!!
How to..., how to..., how to... Do you really need others tell you how to do everything? I look at my life and for the first time realize that I love it the way it is. The way it looks - my room is so me. It can be messy, it can be clean. My choice.
October Magic
How the miracle has happened? What is the secret of transformation?
A Blue me would tell you lovingly. At such length…
An Orange me will skip it. Damn it, forward, forward…
To balance my Blues and Oranges, I have to find balance and there is no better exercise than dance.
No wonder, the transformation happened to me at El Congreso. I became a tanguera in just four days. I felt so good about myself that I finally understood something important. All I have to do is to accept myself “as is” even if I don’t understand myself completely. Who does?
I was relying more on my reasoning and overwriting my feelings. I should balance both. Now the way I feel must guide me towards places where I feel myself, where I feel comfortable, where I feel happy.
It’s all very simple, really, no secrets.
It was October 2011. The month of magic and romance. But tango is not a secret. Tango was a catalyst for me, because I am a dancer. They said “you are a natural”. Natural versus artificial. Dancing is in my nature, I knew it all along. But… what took me so long? It does not matter as long as I keep going in the right direction.
“Wherever you go, there you are”. I am here. At peace with myself. Finally.
Congratulations!!! What I knew when I was six; I rediscovered, acknowledged and accepted at forty two.
All I needed – a little bit of colour, I needed to turn up intensity of my Orange.
I will tell you the secret "You are ready. You don't know it."
Once I let Orange take over, it set my Blue-Green ocean ablaze.
Orange is also a colour of impatience. What this episode is about?
Tango.
Cut down on words, they mean nothing.
So, once I became a tanguera thanks to one man, I told him that there was a song (tango) that I wanted to dance to. Not just to dance anywhere, no, to dance on stage in front of the whole world. Well, Orange is quite bold and impertinent (impertinent means?).
He listened and said that it was a very difficult song. Maybe it is hard to put tango movement to it, but I would be happy to dance to it – to put any movement, an improvisation. The last thing I need is rules.
The song is in Russian and I would not want it to be translated. The lyrics do not make perfect sense (forget perfection!!!), but I like something about this song. I do not even know what. I discovered it a year ago. It is called “Tango of Broken Hearts”.
Tango of Broken Hearts
It goes:
We danced the whole night
And by the morning you said
This world is the world of Sorrow (Dolor)
Who are we in it?
Let’s risk everything,
Let’s make a bold move,
Let’s rob a bank,
We are not like everybody else,
My mysterious friend.
Take out your gun,
Nobody would say “no”
Let love
Set this night ablaze
I want to dance.
And then there was an ocean of fire…, love, blood, tango, shooting, void, screaming, night, letting go, forgiveness…
Anyway, the Flaming Orange has arrived. I can dance now.
I don’t give a damn. About? I just don’t give a damn.
I am in an Orange Mood.
It is so Orange, it burns. Let it be.
Yeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dolores
Dolor de mis colores
Color de mis dolores
Amor de mis amores, alma mia
Translation:
Pain (Sorrow) of my colours
Colour of my pains (sorrows)
Love of my loves, my soul
My soul is my first love, I have to love it, it is about time.
Who knew I had to eat so many oranges?
I CAN DANCE NOW
I can dance
I can say that I can dance myself.
I can dance silence.
I can dance solitude.
I can dance peace.
I can dance tranquility.
I can dance joy.
I can dance ecstasy.
I can dance melancholy.
I can dance despair.
I can dance my dreams.
I can dance sorrow.
I can dance my pains (dolores).
I can dance.
Or not dance.
The transformation has happened.
It is the Point of No Return.
I don’t even NEED to dance anymore.
I want to, but I don’t need to.
I don’t need to write anymore.
I want to, but I don’t need to.
And what am I in the mood for?
I did not check for the meaning, but I like the way it makes me feel
I am in the mood for REBELLION.
Now I have to have my fights. I will pick my Flaming Orange fights I did not pick for so long. But I am going to do it in a soft Blue way using my Green Analytical (oh, hell, I am missing the word, you tell me what to put here). Problem solved.
The only weak side now is Gold. Organizing, managing, saving, money, insurance,… oh,…makes me vom…, but that is a challenge. I will conquer it, oh, yes, I will.
I will summon my Orange, Blue and Green, my strengths and …
We will dance all together.
In perfect harmony.
That is the goal. That is the goal.
Before I have met you (Before I have recognized myself)
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Tango Poems
- The Danger of Riding Erotic Waves
Something is happening. Even if it is not, it feels as if it is... Is it October magic or the magic of new beginnings? - Three Inches Was Erotica. Three and a Half Became LOVE.
Tango is my love. My love is... By losing I win, by winning I lose... Yes, this is a poem. About? About being in love and resisting. Resistance is what makes it love.
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Thank you, Sunnie, as usual you come as the sun in the morning and I did not even go to bed yet.
This article was part of my "cleaning up the act" - there are too many drafts about everything and I promised Mike a hub about tango.
Well, this one a "bridge" one - not so much about tango as about a transition.
Tango is yet to come.
Thank you for reading,
My ideas are getting bolder and bolder - I am not even sure they will be liked. We will see.
Have a wonderful (Orange?) day,
Svetlana/Dolores
So that’s why I like Hamlet so much; we’re both mentor, ENFJ. Interesting!
I hate orange. I go for red. Blood-red. Royalblue. Purple. Lilac. White. Black. Black. Black. Black. Seldom ONLY black. Love to wear black with any of my colours. I am ‘winter’. (Colour me Beautiful by Carole Jackson.) The wrong colour makes you look 10 years older. I can’t see myself in blues (except royal) and greens not at all, although I do have 2-3 green T-shirts. Why? I think I bought it on a sale. One has to wear clothes. I prefer dark and deep colours. Exotic. Of course light colours too. White, lilac.... red... purple... black.
Decor in house – wine-red (maroon) grey’s of all tones... When I was 20-25, my bedroom was red. It is still red, but not that red.... maroon.
Now why do I hate orange?
Svetlana, this was a colourful read. Really thought-provoking.
Gosh, why do hate orange?
Just remembered - I do have one orange jacket without sleeves... it goes with black :))
Don’t let any one person take this plateau of Orange away from you. You shine here in the glow of Sun kissed Poppies. Your transition, from military boots, to what was it 3 inch red heels, and red dress that revealed too much, was a pleasure to witness. There is evidence that the right Bus has finally arrived. (Never mind the number.) Your lightheartedness is duly noted. Your position as a tanguera must always maintain a prominent place in your heart.
Just between you and me the ‘Skippety – skip – skip…’ sent a wave of joy through me. To be light enough to skip – to be light enough to skip. Let that little girl play.
The Tango of Broken Hearts was a great choice, with very provoking images/graphics.
It is so kind of you to dedicate your ‘transition’ episode to me. You are very much enjoying your night swim.
Martie & Mike, if you are curious about "colours",
that is what I've just unearthed. I did the evaluation (mental, well, that, too) in 2007. I put it online in 2008. Now, in 2011 I am coming back to it. God, was it long.
It is my "profile". I'll find later the description of colours - I might have it somewhere.
Martie, if you are Hamlet, then you MUST be Blue.
Though, your liking RED suggests that you have guts (that I have noticed from our FB conversation without you mentioning colours and with such gusto) - meaning you have enough ORANGE in you.
It is not about liking a colour to wear or to decorate, it is a personality dimension.
Anyway, I am offering you a profile (very short, point-form, illuminating:
http://www.altrealm.com/english/chapters/2009-07-1
I will answer your comments a little later.
Martie, thank you for your comment.
I think, however, I am ENFP - Tom Sawyer. ("Anything's Possible").
If you are interested in that bit (transforming from INTJ (professional estimate) into ENFP (self-assessment and self-adjustment), you can read:
http://kallini2010.hubpages.com/hub/Am-I-Beautiful
It is my BEST article (more than 4,000 viewings).
My colour is also RED, I am so RED, you have no idea.
Another article - you don't have to read (frankly, you don't have to read any of my SUGGESTIONS), but just look at the first picture - it will be me on my second wedding. Yes, the red dress. I am serious.
http://kallini2010.hubpages.com/hub/Names-an-Echo-
As far as black goes - HATE IT! It is not my colour anyways - I am Spring or Summer. If you see my photos on FB - there is one in the black outfit - I look 20 years older than I am.
But why do you hate orange? Maybe it is the wrong hue of orange?
Decor in my home - Daniel's room you can see on FB. The rest - I will be writing about. I am finally claiming my space back - from "after the divorce" and from "my parents".
Have a nice day,
Dance!
Thank you, Mike, you are very supportive. You have always been. I do not think you realize your true worth and value and potential. And there is no way I can express my gratitude, there are not enough words and I am not good enough writer for that. The only quality that can make up for that is my honesty. Maybe creativity, too.
Remember that picture - when you said: "I must be overlooking things". You do, we will do.
Nobody can take The Orange Blossom from me now. I am going to fight for it.
I had an accomplishment today: I was asked for a meeting (teach me this) and I said "Make me a business offer/proposition. My time is my money, you value yours, please value mine.
If you are motivated enough, if you want it enough, you will make it happen, otherwise I am not going all the way to you to solve YOUR problems the way I used to do before. There is nothing (I believe) you can tell me I don't know)".
I think that was the end of the story. Let's see. He'll be back, but not so soon.
The Bus? It has arrived. The number? Every bus I take is MINE.
"Play" - Mike you said it. I want you to hear it now - PLAY. We all want that and we all can do that.
We learn better when we play.
So, let's play.
Your HW - 15 minutes of playing with/on?
The opportunity is yours.
Have a playful day,
I have my tango practica today - it is a women's day and a birthday day - let's see what the hell it is. I am in no shape, though. I spent the night...
I swear NOW - it was the last. No hub is worth a sleepless night.
NOT ANYMORE.
I am going to take your words, “Nobody can take The Orange Blossom from me now. I am going to fight for it.” And tuck them away. I like them so much.
That you pushed back against someone trying to just ‘take your time’ is an important lesson. It will serve you well going forward.
“Play” that is nice advice. A water pipe split, and I dug to it and repaired it, this morning. That will have to do. That is not exactly flying a kite, but it will do for today. Maybe I can fly some of the paper stacked at the desk away. But I am already tired.
So the night was spent putting this hub together. I have to refrain my thoughts. Enjoy your practica,take a nap first, no one deserves it more than you do.
Yes, Mike, just believe me and believe in me, that is the best of what you can do. (If only you could do it for yourself. You do believe in you.)
That "no" was not best executed refusal, but it was practice. I have to come up with a better answer.
I was pleased, however, with the fact that my absence in Salsa scene was noticed. Someone missed me. I guess I have a presence.
All right, a poem and then PRACTICA. I am on a mission.
Svetlana, I am impressed with that site of yours and will definitely spend some more time in there as soon as possible.
That profile you’ve offered me - 80% me. I’m going to dig into it – like a finch into her fresh-built nest.
I like the blue sky and blue water – calming. I may like a blue painting, but will not buy one at this stage – my dekor is maroon-and-grey. I can see myself in royalblue and cobalt, but only dead in babyblue and skyblue – the colors of a soft and vulnerable woman – in contrast with my image.
But I’ve forgotten about pink – I do like all tones of pinks. When I need the hand of a man to repair some broken stuff in my house, I will wear pink. And when I am in a relationship with a man, I do go for pinks.
Yes, according to your concept of colors I am certainly orange. Only red when I have to tackle a bull by its horns. I am Aries – Cardinal fire.
You are ENFP? Our difference = P and J? But this is now here where I once again realize that I will never get all my limbs into the boxes created by THEM. ALL of them in all the different categories of personality analyses. For I am just as much perceiving as I am judging. We should not accept any box, frame, or whatever label like a second skin. We could, however, be like mercury and conform.
I thought you were red. I really could not see you in greens and blues. I also see bronze and gold in you (while I see silver and platinum in myself).
Lovely picture of you in your red wedding dress. I, too, would have grabbed the opportunity to wear a red wedding dress. FORTUNATELY I’ve missed that. Only opportunity now left is going into the final oven in one. Of course I will not now or in the future marry in a red dress. That will make me Ridiculous Middle-aged Bride in my own eyes.
You could be Autumn. Why do I think you are Auturm? I was a color analyst in the 80’s. Cannot use pictures for this. Yes, black is not your color.
I will check your photos in FB as soon as I get a minute.
Thanks, this was an interesting ‘chat’ about colors... and but only the ears of the hippo.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
PS – If I have sounded abrupt – it was merely because I have tried to save space.
Martie - long comment, allow me to break it in pieces -
you don't want categorization? You are Blue. Welcome and join the Club.
You are Aries? I thought so - we might clash - so, let's be aware of our ... mmm ... vulnerabilities/strengths.
This one you HAVE to read (I am sorry about insisting. Actually, I am not sorry, but it is short and you are going to like it, I promise.)
http://kallini2010.hubpages.com/hub/Tolerance-Base
I am even more abrupt - I need time to digest.
A bride in RED - a traditional Russian bride before Christianity. White is colour of innocence - I am sorry to state ... but I have already given birth to a son. And so many "encounters" that...
I despise "white" for the wedding and black for the funeral. Funeral is depressing as it is without putting everything in black.
I am certainly either Spring or Summer, but for home decor, yes, you are right on the money - Autumn. Fall.
I'll come back.
Did you see my "I want to be a loser"?
It's short.
Hoping to make it to the milonga today.
Have a peculiar day riding your creative waves,
Martie (& Mike, but Mike has already had the pleasure)
I have added an intrumental piece at the end
I could not imagine anything more suitable than that
Blue, Orange, Dancing and a piano, a man "writing" music, a story...
Hi Svetlana - Amazing and amusing - your hub about Tolerance. I see you are Scorpion. Water. You will not believe me, but the greatest successes in my life were with the co-operation of Scorpions. I can explain this. We can talk astrology for days without end. Later. For now (3AM and to clock in at 8am for work) I share only one of my conclusions. As we get older, we outgrown... outmaster... perhaps only refine all those characteristics allocated to the signs. Life forces us – perhaps not all of us – to become wiser and more able to do what our signs regard as ‘not possible’. Yes, we refine our natural tendencies. The good in us eventually conquer the bad. So by now I can tolerate what I never even thought I would be able to tolerate.
I’ve read your poem – very sad. And the music – absolutely heart-braking! Intense is one of my names, so imagine my reaction on your poem. I have a lot of bad memories in that department. But will, eventually, be able to comment.
Bedtime for me was 3 hours ago. I will be back in 12 hours.
I enjoyed our discussions of the day. It was interesting and enjoyable in many ways. .
Enjoy the rest of your day. I think we have a time difference of 8 hours?
Tot weersiens.
Svetlana, I’ve said I will be back. But it seems to me we have covered the topic. Thanks again for the profile. I am really impressed with your site over there. Also thrilled with the new perception of myself: Orange. I’ve tested this on my friends at work and they agree, I am definitely orange. But they see me in other colours as well. So I guess also the colour of our dimension is in the eye of the beholder.
Thanks again for the extremely interesting interaction we had in here!
BTW – I like the arty way you present your hubs.
Love the music!
Martie, you've said it all, you've said it all.
Another thing in common -
I was born on week of "Intensity" (the irony!)
and my day is called "The Day of Attentiveness".
Astrology is not my religion and I am sure we will be friends (I think we already are)
stars or no stars.
Have a wonderful day,
This is brilliant kallini2010, orange seems to be your colour. Regards, snakeslane
Thank you, snakeslane, for reading and your comment.
Sunnie Day Level 8 Commenter 6 months ago
Good Morning Svetlana,
You have brought all your colors together...creating I believe the perfect dance and I have no doubt that Mike was a wonderful instrument that played so you could dance..it was always there just waiting for the musician... to begin to play and thus putting your feet in motion..
"I will summon my Orange, Blue and Green, my strengths and …
We will dance all together.
In perfect harmony."
Loved this..
Sunnie